Tuesday, September 16, 2008

My Narrative for English Class :)

This is a rough draft of a narrative that I had to do for my english class in college. I liked it so much I decided to share it with yall. I don't have a title for it yet though... any ideas?

There are some things that young boys do that adults just don’t understand. I think
boys do things that are reckless because the danger makes it all the more fun. I think it’s
similar to the phenomenon of how much more funny it is to misbehave when you know
you’re not supposed to.
When I was 12, my friend Kadan and I decided it would be a
good idea to try and take out some wasp nests by throwing chunks of dirt at them. Were
there better ways to get rid of wasp nests? Yes, there were, but this was definitely one of
the more adventurous ways to do it. I don’t think we started out that morning saying to
each other, “Hey man, lets throw chunks of dirt at wasp nests and get a huge adrenaline
rush!” But as the day wore on and we got more and more bored, things kind of just fell in
Kadan lived on a sort of miniature farm with goats and chickens and such, and
was surrounded by corn fields on two sides. There were several barns scattered randomly
across his property and each one of them had about a dozen wasp nests attached to it. As
we were moseying along outside wondering what we could possibly so to pass the time,
we spotted some of these wasp nests on a couple metal storage units for his family’s
tractors. “Hey,” I said excitedly, “can we get your BB guns and shoot those down?”
Kadan wasn’t too enthused about the whole idea, I think because we really weren’t
supposed to shoot at the buildings and he promptly shot my idea of a good time into a
billion pieces with a harsh, “NO!” I felt like a whipped puppy. But I wasn’t going to let
his dreary attitude dampen my spirits for long. I meandered over to the corn fields and sat
down. Kadan soon followed and sat down next to me. I think we were both pondering the
prospect of a lackluster afternoon and how neither of us wanted to live through one of
those. I reached into the dirt in the cornfield next to us and pulled out a hard chunk of
dirt. I fiddled with it for a little while, breaking pieces off and crumbling them between
my fingers. I threw a piece off into the grass where it exploded with a small puff. “Hey,”
I thought to myself, “that’s kind of groovy.” I picked up another piece and gave it a toss
with the same results. Kadan picked up on what I was doing and joined in the fun. Soon
we were seeing who could throw farther while sitting down. I would like to say I could,
but in reality I think it was a tie. I started to cheat. I stood up and let a few fly. Kadan did
the same and soon we were going crazy, letting chunks of dirt fly in all directions. It
wasn’t long before one of them hit a barn quite close to one of it’s many what seemed to
be decorative wasp nests. The wasps responded by buzzing passionately around their
abode trying to discover what had disrupted their calm lives. I looked at Kadan and we
both smiled sadistically as we rushed to get more ammunition from the corn fields. We
scooped up as many chunks as we could and rushed back to the barn where we lobbed a
continuous stream of dirt at the humble wasps who began to get very irate at our
meanness, although they couldn’t figure out it was us. We tried several different tactics to
get the best shot at the nests; direct hits, shrapnel, they were all fun and exciting and very
spectacular. We eventually knocked the nest down. We didn’t hesitate however, to locate
another nest and begin to assail it with the same barrage of weaponry and tactics we had
so skillfully employed on our last endeavor. These wasps responded with the same
frustration as the last ones, and understandably so. We laughed devilishly as each missile
exploded and the fury of the wasp’s raged on. Knocking down nest after nest never
seemed to get old until we decided to end our mission by taking out the biggest nest of
all. We thought it similar to fighting the end boss in a video game. The nest was located
inside an overhang right above a tractor tire. At first we employed the sniper method;
standing far away as we sent our projectiles sailing through the air toward our target. We
did have good aim but our weapons were not causing any damage. “That armor’s too
strong for blasters!” I said in my excitement. Unfortunately, my little joke went unnoticed
by Kadan, who had never seen Star Wars.
Soon we realized that we had to rethink our strategy for this particular “enemy
installation.” Kadan decided to implement a sneak attack approach: we would sneak
inside the building and climb on top of the tractors right tire. Standing up slowly, our plan
was to launch a huge chunk of dirt at the nest by hurling it straight up. The
get away was the fun part: after our massive bomb had exploded, we would jump down
and crouch in the corner of the building, hoping that our enemies wouldn’t detect us, and
then when the timing was right we would rush outside to safety. We had to take turns for
this tactic though… it was too dangerous to go in full force. I was a wimp I guess,
because I volunteered to go first. I sneaked inside the building and slowly scaled the
massive tire. Ammo in hand, I cautiously stood up and prepared to fire. Mustering up all
the foolishness I had in me, I let my ordnance fly. It exploded directly next to the wasps
base and sprayed it with dusty shrapnel. Kadan howled with laughter as I quickly jumped
off the tire and crouched in the dark corner. The wasps were buzzing viciously around the
nest trying to uncover the source of the disturbance. I stayed crouched in the corner and
waited for my adrenaline to tell me when to make a mad dash out of there. I ran. I didn’t
get ambushed on the way out either. Ahh, safe again, but now it was Kadan’s turn. He
went about his duty in much the same way as I had, slowly scaling the tire, only his
mission was a lot more hazardous that mine was: the wasps were already buzzing with
ferocity! I watched from what I though was a safe distance as Kadan released his bomb
into the nest. It was a direct hit and no sooner had his dirt chunk exploded than I finally
felt the wrath of an angry wasp. It dove out at me right from the nest, swooping down like
a dive bomber at an air show. The nerve of that bug! He didn’t even bother land on me,
he just swooped down with his rear end pointed right at me and stung me, stung me right
above my left eye. I hollered and ran off through a trail that lead down the corn fields. I
wasn’t wearing any shoes and some of the plants were hard and stabbed my feet but I
didn’t care, all I knew was that I got stung by one wasp and for all I knew the whole nest
was after me. I’m sure I broke a sprinting record of some kind that day, I don’t think
I’ve ever run faster. Once I thought I was far enough away I stopped running and sat
down, rubbing my eye which both itched and stung terribly at the same time. Soon
Kadan came trotting up the trail to where I was sitting. He was laughing, laughing! How
could he be laughing? Didn’t he know that I got stung? Didn’t he know that getting stung
hurt? The more I thought about it, the more I realized why he was laughing. We had been
bombarding wasp nests for an hour and a half straight, aggravating so many bugs and I
got stung; I got stung and I couldn’t take it. I felt like such a pansy. I stood up and
laughed with him. “Well I guess that’s what I get” I said.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

6 Random Things About Me!

I suppose I have been shanghaied by Mom into writing six random thoughts about myself.

I don't think I'll follow the rules cause I am evil.

1, I often make random noises for no apparent reason just to amuse myself.

2, I have never had a girlfriend because girls think I am too weird too soon.

3, I hold two, or sometimes even three way conversations with myself on a daily basis.

4, I really don't care what's popular with people my age, I don't really want to concern myself with fitting in with everyone else. It's much more interesting to an individual rather than become just another part of some dumb trend.

5, I have the most genius revelations when I mow the lawn or use the weed-wacker. That's when I come up with the best lines and the best story ideas and it's also where I get my logic from. Unfortunately I usually forget exactly how I had imagined these things when I tell them to people and I end up butchering them.

6, I like words with double o's; poop, doom, spooky, and groovy are just a few, you doofas!

I tag... everyone has been tagged already. :(