Scatterbrained

Today I am hoping is a good day. I sent out a few emails to job leads in an effort to... well, get a job. I'm hoping that I can get through to somebody soon.

I have been rather scatterbrained lately, probably due to all the various pressures that seems to be descending on me from multiple directions, and the fact that my attention needs to be devoted to several different things at once. It makes it very difficult to focus on anything.What I need is stability.

Being able to focus on a task is a vitally important part of my personality and I am afraid that it is becoming more and more difficult to do that. When I have so much else that constantly distracts me it becomes nearly impossible to dedicate energy to a single task at a time. In my head I am thinking about the diffusion and convergence of social trends, the spreading of plants and insects to foreign habitats, and the molecular behavior of falling water. I then have to balance these fanatic preoccupations with what I need to get done for my physical self, which is quite a lot. So it's almost as though my personality is ripping, lol.

Actually... that might make sense.... Could that explain why I keep feeling like a hypochondriac?

Entomological Outreach Optimism

Third day in a row. Hopefully I can keep this up (discounting the weekends). Perhaps today I will try to post about something positive to help my general outlook on life. Hmm... where should I begin?

I sent out an email to the Entomological Society of America just a few minutes ago in an effort to reach out to those who share my passions and interests for creepy crawly critters. So hopefully before too long I'll be talking to people about opportunities. Most of the time I don't get responses, but I'm being optimistic this time because I have to, lol.

maybe I should take some of my best writings (including those on facebook) and compile them into a portfolio of sorts. That way I can send writing sample on a variety of subjects to employers of writers all over. Is that a good idea? feedback!

Hasty Title Cause I have to Pee

Perhaps I am wasting my time, but writing makes me feel better. I suppose that the reason for this may be because it is an outlet for me. Lately I've felt very hemmed in by my circumstances, so writing things down here is one simple way to let out some steam or whatnot.

I've had a lot going through my mind and I really feel like I need multiple different outlets right now because I'm thinking about multiple different things simultaneously. I'd make short videos about random things except that my computer decided to stop working properly. And even if it was working properly, my video editing software likes to censor me by deciding what footage it likes and damaging the files it doesn't, lol. Anything showing bees pollinating flowers is evidently not allowed.

So since I can't do the video thing, I can try writing a book one page at a time. I'd need to write it by hand though, since my computer is out of commission (I'm at the library right now). A computer would be extremely helpful for saving and editing and sharing what I write. I guess for now I'll just continue to write down little notes in my notebook.

Really, what I need is a job that will allow me to learn and innovate. I would love to work at any sort of science-y place, heck, I'd even "volunteer" for a very low wage. I find pretty much anything scientific to be of utmost fascination. I'll "volunteer" for long hours and low wages in order to continue learning and making discoveries. Unfortunately, our current system disallows low wage training jobs. "They" want you to be forced to go to college in order to get training because evidently on-the-job training is fictitious? If you don't have the money to go to college, you are forced to rely on the state to send you there. In this manner, you have become and indentured servant to the state in order to eek out a meager living.

Really, I wouldn't mind going to school to learn in place of getting a job, but what I don't like is the job uncertainty. I could spend thousands on tuition costs only to be unemployed after I graduate. who wants that?